Relationshihps

Who knew when relationships would become the cornerstone of your life?   The ones we make as adult are so different from the ones we made in high school.  I don't remember any of the ones from high school or do I want to reestablish any of them.  They were long ago and far away and very superficial.  The ones I make today define my world!  They are the people I turn to  when I am in crisis.  The ones I know that will hold my hand and see me through the issues that are dragging me down and derailing my life.  I am so thankful for those relationships I have made as an adult and those that I have found again after many years.  Fostering them and staying in contact whether across the street or across the country has become very important to me.  Just knowing I can call and cry on someones shoulder about the daily turmoil in my life is like having a refreshin tig breach of air.  They  let me now that  my life is worth  living and that there is something better just around the corner if I can only hold on to the day.

I have people in my life that do this for me.  I love them dearly and know that I can count on them for support day or night.  I know that they care about me and what is really happening in my world. I know that they will pray for me daily and hold me up as I struggle through the pain of my life.  It is with the knowledge of there love I can hold my head up and face the challenges of tomorrow.  

Tonight I know that I am loved and someone is thinking and concerned that I am in pain.  They know that I am struggleing for a validation I will never receive.  There is no way I can every know if I am turly loved and I need to reconcile myself to that disappointment yet one more time.  It seems I have delt with this numerous times over my lifetime yet each time it comes up it is as raw as the first time I realized I have no value.  I have to know that my value is what I give to myself and to my children and grandchildren.  It has to go from me outward as it has not come from above me.